Hello Pennsylvania!

It's been a while since my last post... so here's an update on life.  I finally finished moving out of my apartment in NY on Tuesday of this week and am officially moved into the apartment with my big sister in Pennsylvania.  I love it here, but it has been lonely this week without her.  I'm sure she's enjoying the sunshine and peace and quiet of not being woken up early in the morning by kittens jumping on her head.  That said, I know she misses us, and we are so excited for her to be home on Sunday night!

This weekend is the start of Daylight Saving Time, which quite possibly is my favorite time of year-- because it means that spring is here, summer is coming, and so is my birthday!  Yay!  It is also my last full weekend for who knows how long as I start working at my new job on Monday.  I am SO happy to be able to be working again!  For the next two weeks, I will work with the owner of the practice just to learn hospital protocols and the computer system... and then they'll throw me into the deep in with my own schedule, appointments, and staff on the beginning of week #3.  So obviously, this also means that I'm officially licensed in PA now too... which is a huge relief as well.  I've been waiting around for that license to come through for what seems like months, even though it has only been a few weeks.  I'm quite impressed with how quickly PA was in getting me a license number.  The slowdown, of course, came as a direct result of having to have THREE other states write "letters of good standing" on my behalf.

Things are looking up.  Big gets home soon, I start work, no more snow... all great things!  The weather was in the 60s yesterday, and it will be in the 60s three days next week and ONE day in the 70s.  Could not be more thrilled about that weather!  Yes please!  Starting work... and lots of unpacking to do as well, but I have a feeling that I'm going to be exhausted with starting work.  Oh well, I guess I'll unpack eventually.

It has also come to my attention that I apparently am a nail polish enabler, but I don't think so.  It's not my fault that I like finer things in life including nice NP... honestly, NOT my fault.  It's a direct result of having ancestors who got taken to court in the 1600s/1700s for "dressing too fancy" for the farmers!  Yep.  That's something else new I've learned about myself.  I've always felt that it's important to learn things... and learn something new every day.  So, finally, last weekend... I gave into my big sister and gave her a bit of information about  myself and grandparents.  She is crazy talented (which I already knew) and managed to trace my family back on both sides to the 1500's and 1600's... 13 generations in the United States.  I am old New England with relatives on both sides of the family hailing from Massachusetts... including three great-grandparents being in the 9 original purchasers of Nantucket Island.  Martha's Vineyard was also a place my family called home... and now I'm excited to be planning a trip to New England with my big in the spring to visit these places!  My relatives also include the infamous Folger (yep, like the coffee) family and Ben Franklin.   Yep, do you feel like you have been on an episode of "Who Do You Think You Are?" just from reading this post?  You should!  I do.

Life is good lately.  I'd like it to stay this way or keep getting better.

XOXO

Moving... again

I cannot believe that February is almost over.  Wow, what a month.  I'm in the process of moving from NY to PA, and I hope to be completely moved by the end of this upcoming weekend.

Currently, I'm in Ohio for a few days.  I brought my little princess kitteh, Bella, back to Ohio to spend some time with her Grandma.  I'm going to miss Bella like crazy, and I know that she's going to miss me.  It was a huge adjustment for her to move to NY with me, and she has been very spoiled with me being home with her during the day lately.  We arrived on Monday evening from NY, and Bella did so much better on the car ride this time around.  Granted, that is partially due to the fact that I medicated her with a higher dose of medication than I used the last time... and secondly, this is also the 2nd time she's been on an 8+ hour car ride (and won't be her last trip-- as she will be moving to PA eventually).

Now I'm in a sort of holding pattern as far as my job goes... and this is worrisome to me just because I still have bills to pay and really need to have an income.  I have to wait until I am granted a license in PA, and who knows how long that's going to take.  I am working on two other state boards to get letters mailed to PA... and *fingers crossed* they do so in the near future.

Today I felt like crap.  I slept horribly last night... waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, and my neck and body ached when I woke up this morning.  Also, I had a headache for a better part of the day today and just generally felt run down/exhausted.  I took a shower, hoping that it would make me feel better... but it actually made me feel a little worse.  I had chills and could not stay warm.  Finally, I found a warm blanket, put on socks, sweatpants, and a thermal shirt under my sweater... and I felt nice, cozy, and warm and fell asleep on the sofa for an hour or so.  After my little cat nap, my headache was gone (thank goodness), and I'm feeling a bit better now.  I haven't been nauseated or anything, but I didn't really have an appetite today.  I did eat a turkey and cheese sandwich, string cheese, and greek yogurt earlier in the day.  I finally got my act together and went to Target tonight to pick up caffeine-- either in the form of Diet Coke or coffee... (diet coke with lime = winner), nail polish remover (as my mom has none-- absolutely DO NOT understand this at all), and a new NP to try.  Additionally, I did some stuff around here including: sorting through textbooks and notes-- picking out more stuff that I may or may not need as references at my new job, finished my last load of laundry, washed my two duvet covers, and I still have to go through drawers of lounge clothes and pack all of that as well as my dresser into the back seat of my car.

Plan for tomorrow-- to PA or bust!  I'm going to unpack my car (again), stay for a few days, and then back to NY to hopefully finish packing and cleaning.  Lots to do in a very short period of time... I just want to be moved already.  I know, impatient much? Very!  I have zero patience for this... maybe I should consider coercing people into helping me pack and clean?  That's probably one of the better ideas I've had lately.  At least I won't feel guilty packing boxes in the presence of my cat now.  She was getting so stressed to see boxes everywhere and me packing things up.  Poor baby!  I think she honestly thought I was going to leave her and take everything with me... except for her.  The only downfall of not having her in NY is that it's going to be that much harder for me to be in the apartment to pack and clean.  I've never been there alone.  She has always been there with me, but knowing that she's safe with Grandma does make me feel a little better.

Now I'm just rambling... and I have a lot to do here in Ohio before leaving, so I guess I better get on it!

XOXO

My luck is changing...

Wow, sorry that I have been failing at updating everyone on my life.  February 1st marked two months of unemployment for me.  I had sent several applications out for various general practice and emergency positions... in Louisiana, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and New York.  As you may remember... I interviewed at two practices in New York during the last week or so of January-- but I just wasn't sold on either one.  The people were very nice, but each practice had things I disagreed with... and I became more discouraged about the job hunt.

I then found a position advertised in Northeast PA, which was confidential, and through a service that works for practices.  I contacted the woman who was serving as liaison for the practice, talked with her on the phone, had my references checked... and she set me up for interviewing on Monday and Tuesday of this week.  It is currently a two doctor practice that practices advanced medicine and surgery (soft tissue only, yay!  I am so not an orthopod).  Small animal only, with access to ultrasound, echocardiography, EKG, blood pressure measurement, a tonopen for ophthalmology, essentially 98% digital records, endoscopy, rhinoscopy, and laser surgery capabilities.  The technicians and assistants all seemed really happy to be there, got along well together, and all respected the doctors.  The two doctors get along well, and the other associate is still a young doctor graduating only a year before me-- but starting practice at the same time as I did.  At the end of the second day of the interview, I met again with the office manager and was offered the position.  It still feels very surreal, as I am so used to having bad things happen to me lately... that I still quite can't believe that I was offered the job!

So, I'm moving to Pennsylvania very soon!  I have a lot to do before moving, and I hate making lists... however, this may be one time when a list benefits me.  I just submitted my application for my license in PA today, and I have to contact the other states in which I hold licenses to have them send letters of good standing to PA for me.  Lucky does not even brush the surface of what I am to get to move in with my big sister!  Yay!  I can't wait!  It's going to be so much fun living with her and my favorite kittens... the only downside is that my own little kitten, Bella, is going to have to temporarily move back to Ohio with her grandma.  I haven't decided yet when I want to move Bella... because I'd rather keep her here with me to "help" me pack before just uprooting her.  She loves being here with me, and she'll be very excited to move to a new apartment with me... eventually.  I know so many people in PA already through my sister, more than I know in NY... so it will be very easy for me to get adjusted to life there.  I've got to go sign my contract with my new employer next week, and I plan to move some boxes, maybe some furniture, and who knows what else down to PA at that time.  I've kept all of my textbooks boxed up-- so that will be quite easy to throw them into the car.  

I feel like I can breathe again.  I actually told Bella today that everything is going to be ok for us.  Sure, it's going to be a pain to have to take her to Ohio for a bit, and I hate moving... I really truly hate it.  I'm not sure if I can sublet my apartment in NY or not... but here's hoping for the best because I am moving out.  Moving on to a better position in a better place with wonderful people who I know will appreciate me.  Pennsylvania already feels more like home to me than New York has... and I can't wait to make it official.

XOXO

Happy February!

Wow, how is it already February?  I really do not know where January went.  I'm actually glad that January is over.  It was mediocre to say the least... although, I guess it could have been worse.  I wish my life would settle down.  I'm getting pretty sick of it being so up in the air, so uncertain.  However, I am a very lucky girl to be blessed with such a wonderful, strong support system of many friends and family members in my life.  There is always someone who I can talk to... and they won't judge me (or if they are judging, they aren't verbalizing it to me-- which is good because some days are better than others lately).  It's nice to have sounding boards, and I'm also happy to be there for people who need, who need a friend, who need a hug, who need to laugh, who just need to forget about the stress of life for a while.

I am feeling like February is going to be a better month for me.  Although I had a few interviews last week that were disappointing to me, I have found additional positions that could be promising for me, have made new contacts, and have also reconnected with people from my past.  Overall, it has been a good week for me so far, and it will only get better from here as I am going to visit my big sister tomorrow for the weekend.  I absolutely love visiting her.  It makes me so happy to see her bright smiling face when I arrive, and getting a hug from my sister... gives me such a warm, safe feeling.  She always makes me feel better and constantly reminds me through her words and actions that I am going to be ok.

What's in store for the weekend, you ask?  Lots of fun!  We deserve to have fun... and we always have a great time.  We could be drinking coffee, lounging in PJ's, and watching movies all day, or we could be out and about painting the town... regardless, it's always a blast.  Great company, wonderful memories... both of which I would not trade for anything in the world.  Tomorrow I will be driving for a few hours, relaxing for a bit, and then attending an exhibit opening at a museum with my sister.  I love exhibit openings, and this one is going to be fabulous for sure.  I will admit, not only am I excited that I get to see my sister and others in the community that I know... but I get to rock my new black pumps with gold stud heels.  I am in love with these shoes.  They are a bit more edgy than what I normally wear, but they are just amazing-- and yellow tagged for $39 at TJ Maxx (when retail is $158), YES PLEASE!  The brand is Modern Vintage / Rosegold, which is a great brand. I have two pairs of MV boots-- beautiful craftsmanship, super soft leather, essentially perfection in a shoe really.  I haven't decided on an outfit yet.  I have a black skirt and black top I could wear, or I may go with the peacock blue dress and black cardigan sweater.  On my nails, I am wearing one of my new favorite polishes... Heat of the Night by Le Metier de Beaute (a gift from big sister-- of course).  On Friday night, we're going downtown for First Friday to walk through art galleries, catch up with people out and about, and perhaps eat a few snacks.  First Friday is so much fun!  I've only been to it once before, but I love walking around downtown, people watching, meeting new people, and of course seeing fabulous art.  Seeing art and meeting artists makes me feel creative-- I know, how cliche right?  Yeah, but I have a creative streak... not nearly good enough to ever pursue art seriously, but I have a love for painting and photography.  So, it's easy for me to get wrapped up in viewing beautiful works.  It's soothing and lets me forget about my worries for a while... get lost in another world, and I love that feeling.  On Saturday, we're going to be starting a second batch of wine making!  It is so much fun!  We're making a white wine this time (I think), and I'm sure it will be just as tasty as the Apple Tatin Port that we made at the end of 2011.  However, this time around... we are going to be smart and take wine with us to drink WHILE we are wine making.  On Sunday, it's the Super Bowl... but we might just be lazy, watch movies, and/or have crafts time!  We'll see how things go.  

So I have a busy, fun weekend ahead... and I may also have an interview early next week!  Don't want to get too excited about that yet as nothing is set in stone.  Right now, I'm feeling hopeful about the future, excited about the weekend ahead, and I promise to be better with updating the blog more regularly next week.

Happy February!

XOXO

Another week

I've been doing a bad job keeping up with the blogging this week, but it's been a busy week.  I had interviews on Monday and Tuesday.  Monday was an exhausting day.  My interview was 2.5 hours away, which means that I was awake at 5am, out the door by a little after 7, and made it on time to the interview.  I toured three hospitals, owned by one group, on Monday... and each was set up about the same.  Most of the people were very nice, but some of the the personalities were a bit cold.  Overall, the doctors were nice, but there were some things I wasn't sold on.  On Tuesday, I interviewed at a local place... and although there were many positive aspects-- such as a smaller hospital, small staff, close location (with no need to relocate), I just didn't love it.  I didn't LOVE either one really... and I couldn't picture myself going into and out of rooms.  I didn't see myself loving working there, and I want to be able to see and feel that before accepting a job.  I just can't accept a job to do it if I won't be happy... and I'm just really disappointed.  I was hoping for so much more.

I had a phone call today with another head hunting service essentially, and she is going to forward my resume to a practice in Pennsylvania.  I am also working with a few others, who have forwarded my resume to places in Louisiana and Delaware.  I also applied to a place in NC, but I haven't heard anything from them.  I totally hate applying for jobs.  Each day makes me feel shitty.

Not to mention, I have one week until my rent is due, and I probably have about $200 to my name right now.  Each night I want to cry myself to sleep, but that's not going to help matters.  I have to send out some emails tomorrow and hope that tomorrow brings me good news.  I just can't handle anything less than good news right now.  Supposedly, there are inspections going on at my apartment complex tomorrow too... and I hate being home when people enter my apartment-- so I'll go to Starbucks and try not to wallow, but it's just so easy!

Insomnia rears its ugly head... again.

It is 3:54 am... and I am still awake.  What the hell is wrong with me?!  I am really sick of not being able to sleep.  I don't want to drink a glass of wine every night or have to resort to Benadryl or Nyquil... but seriously, this is ridiculous.  I physically feel tired, even have been yawning... but it doesn't matter what I do-- I just end up laying in bed, tossing and turning, so I finally decided-- screw it, I'm getting up.  Either I'll literally stay up all night and force myself onto a normal sleep schedule tomorrow night... or I will crash and burn shortly.  At this point, I honestly don't care which event happens to me.  

I miss the time when sleep came easily.  In fact, I wish I was so physically exhausted from busting my butt at work that I would pass out when my head hit the pillow.  This was a regular way of life-- passing out when my head hit the pillow-- that is... during my intern year last year.  I'm fairly certain that it'd also be a way of life if I was doing a residency right now too-- but yeah, that obviously did not work out as planned.

I have never had trouble sleeping like this in my life.  Sure, did I ever stay awake at night for a little while? Absolutely.  Nervous before midterms or finals in vet school... nervous/terrified before my vet school interview... yeah, I can count lots of events that have kept me awake.  Right now though, I'm pretty confident that the uncertainty of what is going to happen day to day, especially financially, is what is causing me such stress and allowing sleep to pass me by.  Come back, sleep!  I miss you!  We used to have a great relationship... please come back to me.

I am in Pennsylvania this weekend (short trip, sadly) visiting my big sister... because 1) I missed her, 2) I missed the kittehs, and 3) I tend to be less stressed and more relaxed when I visit.  Despite all of the other times I have recently been down here too, I have never EVER been awake at this god forsaken awful hour.  Seriously, I wish I could cry right now... cry myself to sleep even.  That would be better!  It's been a rough week for really no good reason... and although I may be a bit nervous for my interviews next week, I should not be LOSING sleep over them-- not yet anyways.  It's not as though I've never had an interview before... I know how to conduct myself, I know the questions they will ask me... I really think the sad fact of the matter is that I have absolutely zero control over anything right now, and it's stressing me out so much that my brain is racing through a million various thoughts a minute that it is keeping me awake.  Stupid brain.

I guess, at this rate, I might as well just force myself to stay awake for a few more hours... make coffee, and go to bed at a normal time tonight (Saturday).  It has been snowing for a few hours now... not really sure when it started, maybe at 1?  There's definitely at least an inch of snow on the ground from what I can see by looking at the cars in the parking lot and on the building rooftop across the way.

I  really was hoping that typing a blog post and staring at the laptop screen would be enough to force my eyelids to collapse shut.  Obviously, not working yet.  I wish I had thought to bring workout clothes with me... because running in the snow (although freezing) is actually quite fun.  Is it necessarily the safest idea to do so at 4am?  Probably not.  But come on... it could have two possible effects: 1) it makes my adrenaline surge, pumping me up, therefore keeping me awake the remainder of the early morning hours... so that I can make coffee and get on with the day OR 2) it makes me so tired to use muscles that I haven't in months that I collapse in a pile on my air mattress and sleep.  I vote for #2, of course,... but I didn't bring running shoes or running attire with me-- not to mention, I would wake up the kittehs (and then likely big sister too) if I went outside at this hour.

It is now 4:09 am... and I hear the beeping of a truck outside, like a truck backing up.  Maybe it's a snow plow trying to clear the parking lot?  Who knows.  Hearing traffic, sirens, etc... has never bothered me before when I have been here.  Blah.  I'm at such a loss for how I feel right now, and I hate it.  Maybe crying about it is the emotional release I need to have in order to sleep?  Who knows.  I doubt I could even sleep right now if I was drunk.  As hindsight is always 20/20, I most definitely should have thought to have a beer with my chicken corn chowder that I ate for dinner.  I thought soup was a good choice for food.  It was absolutely delicious (as everything my sister makes is), and soup always makes me feel warm, comfy, and usually tired!  T-I-R-E-D!  My legs felt tired, and I was hoping that the drive down here also made me tired enough to fall asleep.... maybe not at 11, but at the very least, by midnight or 1am.  Alas, sleep has not found me... and it is now 4:14.  I hear the truck backing up again outside.  It must be a snow plow.  That's the only rational thing I can think would be outside, in close proximity at this hour of the morning.  Staring at the screen isn't helping much, but I feel a bit more tired just staring at the monitor than I did while I was staring at the ceiling in bed.  Maybe I should try reading a book on my Kindle for PC?  Sometimes that helps me get sleepy.  Although I truly don't even know if I want to sleep now.  I mean, I WANT to... but it's just going to mess me up more if I sleep hours today.  Thankfully, since it is crafts weekend, and I always wake up at "normal" times when I am in PA... I think I would wake up anyways at a normal time.  I'd likely be quite tired all day, and perhaps a bit crabby (my own fault of course)... but maybe being tired all day is what I need to go to sleep at a regular time.  Who knows.  I wish I did because then I could be sleeping the early morning hours away... rather than sitting up and blogging.  Don't get me wrong-- blogging does make me feel better.  It's essentially like my own personal journal that is public, so everyone can read about my ridiculously random thoughts... any time of any day!  Fun, right?  I actually feel badly that people waste minutes of their daily life reading about my ridiculous thoughts... but hey, it's ok.  If I can make someone laugh, or brighten someone's crappy day... then at least I've accomplished something good.

Now if someone could please share the secret on how to shut off my brain and make me sleep... preferably without prescription medication as I do not have health insurance or a physician right now, that would be ideal.

Hmm 4:21 am... less than 3 hours until sunrise.  I wonder if I'll be awake or not.

XOXO

Coffee is all I need

I could probably live on coffee... and nothing else.  There's just nothing quite like a cup of coffee with a splash of half and half.  My favorite is Keurig dark magic k-cups.  They are so yummy.  I am also rather impressed with myself that I have been awake several hours already without coffee... which is surprising since I didn't get to sleep until 4:30 am.  I almost stayed awake all night, but I guess I finally did fall asleep.

It's sunny and cold today, but at least it's not snowing.  I could take any kind of weather really... as long as it's not snowing.  I used to think that rainy weather made me feel lazy... but nope, winter snow by far takes the cake.  I'm just hopeful that the weather holds out for next Monday and Tuesday.

While browsing Facebook this morning, I am overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions for my friends.  On one hand, I have a friend who is married with young children--who just found out that her husband had an affair and has left her.  She is such a strong person, and my heart truly is breaking for her--and even more so for her kids.  She says that she can forgive him--if he will come back home and wants her forgiveness.  Honestly, I can't say I'd be able to do the same.  Granted-- yes, I am not in her situation, so it's not really fair for me to be able to make that kind of conclusion... since I clearly have not walked a day in her shoes, but it's just how I feel.  In other happier news on Facebook, one of my classmates just started a new job in Cincinnati and another one signed her contract to start working with a practice in Columbus.  I could not possibly be happier for them!  They both deserve the very best, and the practices are lucky to have them.

So as I sit here and drink my coffee, trying to stay warm, I am reflecting on the lives of others today.

XOXO