Winter Storm Advisory

Once again, my lovely city is under a winter storm advisory... for a projected 6-10 inches of snow over the next 36 hours.  Did I mention how NOT excited I am about this?  Upstate NY winter = no bueno.  I do love the scenery here.  In the fall, the foliage is probably some of the very best in the country... and I haven't been here in the spring yet.  Winter though... I am not a fan.  Never have been, never will be.

I'm also staying in town this weekend... for the first weekend since before Christmas.  Yep, I've been in Pennsylvania for quite a few weekends-- and I prefer it that way.  Weekends with my big sister are so relaxing and fun.  I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself.  I actually hope that I get snowed in so that I will feel better about staying home.  I need to stay home I guess... not so much for me, but more because my sister needs to relax without a visitor-- she always worries when I travel, and she needs to unwind and get her life back in order.  I should be doing the same... getting my life in order, but I don't know where to begin.  More importantly, my cat will be happy that I am here I guess.

In other news, I went grocery shopping tonight and bought lots of yummy things.  I am going to eat better in 2012 and try to take better care of myself.  I have not been doing a great job, and I just feel like a sloth.  I need to start running again, doing yoga, or doing pilates... something.  I need to feel centered again, like I'm worth something... because right now, my self esteem is so far down in the hole that I just feel like I keep sinking and will never rise above.  I know it's not healthy to think negatively, but it's my nature... I can't get myself out of this rut.  I want to break out of the rut.  I want to find an amazing job and be happy again.  I want to get caught up on life.  I want to be me again.  I miss being happy and miss being excited about life.  I was excited about everyday once... when I had a job, when I first moved here, and had you asked me a few months ago if I'd be where I am right now... I would have told you no way, no how.  I still feel like I am living a nightmare.  One never-ending nightmare that keeps repeating.  I try not to think of it that way because I'm pretty sure that mind set is part of the reason why I'm not sleeping all that well.

I still have a headache today.  I felt a little better when I was out and about doing grocery shopping.  Maybe it really is my apartment, something at my apartment that is making me feel like crap.  Oh well.  It's not that bad.

Hopefully it dumps snow on me.  I want to get 10 inches of snow.  I want it to be so high that I can't see out the windows.  If that happens, then I'll take pictures and post... especially for all of you crazy people who want snow but aren't getting it.  If I could, I'd gladly give all of it to you!